Of Tigers and Feathers – Day 5

Nothing much happened today. Mostly because I spent about 90% of it asleep due to a cold and whatever else ails me. I’ll try to parse out the guilt complex that threads through the notion of marriage and the reality of chronic illness later. Again, on the don’t ask don’t tell of relationship negotiations.

I was thinking about something someone said the other day, about how our generation is too selfish. The way this came up, was because she was talking about how her twin sons were content with each other for companionship and didn’t want to get married and provide her with grandchildren. According to her, her sons had told her that they saw no need to get married because she took care of the household and they were perfectly fine with just each other for their emotional needs.

It was fascinating, because I’m so used to the concept that having children is inherently selfish, in terms of consuming resources, in the sense that you are bringing a life onto this world because you want it.

But no, this lady was lambasting our generation as a whole for being too self-absorbed, too spoiled and selfish for children.

And I have to think – is that truly so bad?

There are way too many shitty parents out in the world, people who have kids just because their culture, their parents told them to, people who have kids because they don’t have a choice. Isn’t it a good thing that these two guys aren’t running out and knocking some chick(s) up simply because their mother wants grandbabies?

Isn’t choice a good thing?

2 Responses to “Of Tigers and Feathers – Day 5”

  1. domynoe

    You really could turn this around: that she was being selfish in demanding grandchildren from people who are content with their lives as they are. People who don’t want kids aren’t being selfish:they just don’t want kids. And as counter as that is to previous generations where kids were considered a must have thing to complete life, it’s okay to not want them and to think your life is complete without them.

  2. kyrias

    Exactly. But that’s the prevailing mindset here.

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