Archive for July 13th, 2015

Shall we dance?

I twirl around the room, my skirts flaring around my ankles, arms held as if I held a lover, my lover, within my hands. I close my eyes and melt into the music, spinning, stepping in time to the beat of my heart. If I blur my mind, I can almost see him, almost feel the soft tickle of his hair against my left hand, the heat of his fingers and the thrum of his pulse in my right.

I turn faster, ignoring the ache in my arms, my legs, my feet, the pain far less than the open wound in my chest. The world spins, the fragments of my dreams slide along the floor, carried along by the breeze of my skirts. Weariness flows through my veins and I slow, knowing that what I’m doing is unsustainable. Untenable. Like so many other things I’ve forced in the past. Stop. Now. Pivot. Shift. Then once more, again, but slower.

I open my eyes, my fantasy shattering back into empty space. The thing to do, the only thing I can do, is to open myself again. Open myself to the music, to the possibilities that simply are, to a strange world that became stranger overnight. What else is there? What else can there be?

Lifting my chin, I let a small smile curve my lips, my hands turning and cupping the air, sketching out an invitation, waving to the dark. Come. Come here. Closer. Closer still.
The rhythm changes, shifting up tempo, a trickle of sweat sliding between my breasts as I stare into the space before me and issue it an unmistakable invitation.

Come to me. Take me. Lead me on an adventure. Find me. Fight for me. Love me.

The music slows, soothing my heart and bruised feet. I raise my hands again into the classic dance position, this time for her. She smiles at me, full of fey glee, tawny eyes daring me to take the lead. Her fingers entwine with mine, so tightly I can’t tell where I begin and where she ends. I grin back, answering her taunt.

Perhaps. Perhaps I will, tomorrow.

Update update update

I’m back in Taiwan. Yes, the use of “back” is interesting and I might need to stare at my navel for a bit at some point. I’m somewhat settled in, by which I mean I’m over the jet lag and there’s a bit of an idea of how my daily routine is going to be, but it’s by no means clear in any way.

Suffice to say that living with my parents again at my age when I haven’t really lived with them in any formal capacity for long periods of time since I was about twelve is going to be interesting. Right now I have my brother to run interference, but things are going to change again when he leaves at the end of August, which I’m not looking forward to. Although, I’ll get the proper room with the proper desk, so it might not be that bad.

Everything has a price and all that.

It’s also interesting because I’ve spent months in Taiwan in the past years but it’s always been a “guest” or “touristy” sort of way. It’s going to be massively different now that I need to navigate daily life without Amazon Prime and access to a car for grocery shopping and without disposable income. Part of it definitely is that my parents are going to lose patience with me and I with them at some point and I cannot cross my fingers hard enough for it to be later, much later, rather than sooner. Like three years from now kind of later.

Quick notes:

For those who are curious, the one-bag traveling method really worked for me and I’m completely sold. I did get very very very tired of the same five dresses over a month, but for shorter trips I don’t see why it would be a problem. The only thing that I didn’t use on a regular basis was the hair dryer and then it proceeded to burn itself out, so there was that. Everything else I ended up using and I didn’t regret bringing anything. Not even the blanket.

Note for travelers to Europe – depending on the BnB or hostel or Air BnB, the size of the comforter can range from minuscule to not-quite-big-enough to adequate. Some of the single beds, which I think were somewhat more narrow than I remember single beds in the US being, had comforters that were precisely the width of the bed and no more. For someone like me who likes to cocoon… I was very grateful I brought my blanket.

I will note that the Aeronaut 30 that I got for this trip really was slightly on the smaller side even though I found it with a 15 pound load to be on the heavier side for my abilities. My blanket had to be toted in a separate bag, for example, even though it was compressed to the size of a pillow. I found myself wishing that I’d gotten the A30′s larger sibling, the A45, at various points along the trip. I couldn’t buy any souvenirs because there was absolutely no wiggle room, which was both a boon and a curse.


Due to various reasons, such as the state of my health, my mental acuity, living under my parents’ roof and therefore being subject to their schedules and whims, when I start working on the writing again, I will likely be taking a lot of my shorts and publishing those before I get back to work on Phoenix Awoken, book two of the Phoenix Saga.

To be honest, part of that really is because shorts are easier and I do have a backlog of shorts that I need to tweak and toss out, but part of it is also because Ariagne out-performed Chosen by a pretty large margin, both in sales and in KU borrows.

I have no idea why, absolutely none, because reasons really could range from the fact that the historical romance section is notorious for being glutted to the possibility that Ariagne is a better story to my oversight in not dancing around the fire ten times for good fortune when publishing Chosen to…the gods only know.

So, not knowing, that means I’m inclined to work on what I think readers will be interested in. And even if readers don’t end up falling in love with my shorts to an overwhelming degree, it’s still going to be easier on me on multiple levels if I focus on those rather than on Awoken for the moment.

For those who care, worry not, I will get back to Awoken. For those who really want their fix, feel free to contact me about a beta read of what I have for Awoken. It really needs quite more structure and overhauling than I expected. The good news is that once this is done, three should be much easier. The difficulty lies in adequately setting up the relationships so that suspension of disbelief will continue unabated, even with readers who aren’t traditionally into such things. Once that’s accomplished, however, everything should be downhill sledding from there.


So that’s it for now. As always, comments, emails, heck, discourse of any sort welcome.