Archive for October 21st, 2014

Appalling it needs to be said…but…

I do so hereby solemnly swear that I will not, under any circumstances, stalk, bully, harass, or even contact someone who’s expressed an opinion of my book.

Any names and addresses I receive for giveaway purposes will be promptly discarded in a safe fashion after the book has been mailed out. I also swear to never pass along such sensitive information unless instructed to do so by the owner of said information.

….

Seriously, this needs to be said?

For those not in the know, suffice to say that an author stalked a reviewer online and off, culminating in the author driving out to the reviewer’s house. I’m not naming any names because I really don’t want to add fuel to the crazy-fire and I refuse to give the author any kind of publicity. I’m certain there’s some who have looked her up due to the kerfuffle, read her articles, and gained interest in her and her book. Certainly I was myself drawn to the trainwreckiness of it all and had an urge to follow her tweets and blog just to try and understand the insanity.

I use a pen name for a reason. I do not go by my legal name because, like most sane people, I prefer to have my online and offline life separate for safety reasons. This is not an invitation to hunt me down and doxx me.

I’m a blunt sort of person and I make no bones about my likes and dislikes — it would be an absolute nightmare for me if someone harassed me about my opinions online, much less went to the effort of doing a background check on me and appearing at my doorstep in person. I cannot even imagine the kind of fear and violation experienced in that case. That’s the sort of thing leading to fleeing the house and finding a new place to live.

I am deeply sympathetic to the reviewer in question and I think it’s a crying shame that her sense of safety and well-being has been compromised by this author’s actions to the point where she’s taken everything private and has stopped reviewing/blogging. On the heels of EC’s suing Dear Author and Gamer Gate… I cannot repeat this enough: Stalking is seriously wrong. It’s illegal, it’s crazy, and it’s just plain morally wrong. There is no ambiguity about this. No matter what someone says or thinks, it is not all right to violate their home or their job or anything in their offline life. I would add that it’s wrong to send people hate mail to their email too, because seriously, the First Amendment does NOT mean you get to spew your hate toward whoever has caught your ire at the moment.

Seriously, if you feel compelled to hunt someone down in real life and confront them, don’t. As my friend says: Taser your damn self until you stop wanting to. Think about how you would feel if a complete stranger, someone who you don’t know if they’re going to attack you or yell at you, shows up at your front door. If you think you’re cute, adorable, beautiful, quirky and funny and no one should possibly be afraid of you, think again. If a stranger shows up at my door and wants to talk to me about something I’ve said online, not only would I slam the door and call 911, but I’d probably mace first and leave the “talking” for the cops.

Stalking is creepy — don’t do it. If you have obsessive tendencies and they prompt you to want to violate boundaries, for fuck’s sake, get thee to a doctor.

…Eris on a stick, this needs to be said? I do not have enough words for all the I can’t even.